where are you - song

"I'm staring out at the sky (I see you baby)
Praying that he will walk in my life
Where is the man of my dreams (right here) yea-yeah
I'll wait forever, how silly it seems
How does he laugh? How does he cry? What's the color of his eyes?
Does he even realize I'm here?
Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?dadadadadada dadadada dadadadadada (where are you?)"

The lines above are parts of the song 'where are you' by justin roman. As we can observed those lines are seemed to be uttered by a girl. Yes, actually i got the part of natalie. This song is actually a duet and i have posted the girl part. I just come to like this song, and have able to get its lyrics in the web to be able to share it in my blog. Somehow, in a few instances in the song, i could relate with the singers.
By the way, 'I'll wait forever' let me quote this line, because i just remembered one thing that was said in maalaala mo kaya. There it was stated that if what/who you are waiting for is important to you, forever is not too long. The hardest part when it comes to separation is the first part, when one is already leaving. This is the most difficult, the thing of letting go. But as the time goes by, the difficulty and the complexities of the situation is made manageable as we keep the foundation we have in the relationship firm. And the waiting is sustained by patience and eagerness of seeing each other soon. In waiting for someone, a day just seems to become a lengthy period nore than a day. But still we become strong until the time of the come back. That's just what i can say about right now and what comment i could give for the song....

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i had a dream....

The other day, i was suddenly awakened of a dream that was for me a really terrible and disgusting one. It was almost early five o'clock in the morning that time. What that dream was all about was really a saddening one for me. In the scene, it was when i was meeting with 'Baby'. I did not know how and why we are to meet at that time. It looks like he has arrived home from a very distant work in a surprise. The scene location i think was in a mall type of place. There we met and that time i was so happy, having been able not to see him for quite a long time, that moment really was very good one for me. We walked in the place and as i was browsing his phone, those pictures captured by his camera phone, i started asking who the people are in the pictures. What are the name of his friends and anyone he is with in the saved files. I just like to know his friends there in his work, and that's all. Until he broke something that really shocked me as if i was electrified many times.. He showed me a picture of a girl and then told me that she was his girlfriend. Blood got up to my head upon hearing what he has said, Suddenly the world seem to start falling on me, and the feeling of being so helpless is what covered up my entire being. I seem to find it difficult to breathe as i was trying to be strong enough to prevent my emotions> but i was not that strong enough. i brokedown into tears and with the angst feeling in my heart for what he has kept from me, i was hitting him with full force, with the use of anything that i can reach. I want him to feel the pain that he has just handed on me. I want him to speak up after that thing that he has said. What made him do that, and how come he did not tell it to me. There are a lot of questions i want him to answer that time, but i can not put it in words for my anger due to the pain i had that time has taken over my voice. Since we were then in the mall, I can not really speak to him of what i want him to hear from me, for i want us to talk in private that thing that we can not do while in the mall. I was then waiting for a chance that we would be left alone but it did not happened, the dream ended and i was awakened.
My feelings was really uncalm and i was very bothered. What ran into my mind was why in the world did he not tell that thing earlier. It was what i have been telling him even before, to be honest to me even upto the point of him doing unwanted things. I wanted him to be open through communication that we are depriving ourselves upto now. Though there is already the very simple way of being able to communicate to each other, through text messaging, we still can not manage to have a constant communication. As far as i know, every call and text have been given lowering rates but still, we hardly talk. It seems that we are globes apart even if we are not really, even if the fact is that we are just in one country, only few regions apart.
How i wish there was just no texting that will make it reasonable enough for us not to be able to keep in touch to each other, everytime. But its not what it is, though communication is made easier and easier, i just don't understand in this world why is he like that.
After that incident, i was really feeling bad towards him. It is not because of the dream itself, but because of the response i got after i told him that i had this bad dream. I tried to reach him that moment i woke up, but i had no, even single, reply. Not even asking what that bad dream was all about. I was expecting him to be the one i can get comfort from, but i was not able to get it. I try to calm myself alone by myself. I thought he would be the one who can ease the feeling of uneasiness that time, but i was barking on the wrong tree i think. I try reaching him for a friend's comfort. I did not know why he had no reply that time. I just let it passed just to be able not to destruct the other things i am to do on that day.
With that dream i had, upto this moment, i still do not know what it meant. Why all of a sudden i had dreamt of something like that. But what is really saddening is the aftermat of what happened. A moment that i think will be instilled for long in me though i don't want it to but i admit i can't still prevent it from bothering my mind. I still want to say many things but maybe there would still be other times. Maybe a better one is to direct it to him rather than on this writing.
I just wish, this would get better as time goes by. and bit by bit i hope this would be healed soon...